Frequently Asked Questions
The following is a list of frequently asked questions. These are answered by Michael and primarily geared towards general questions and bodywork sessions. The BDSM based sessions are explained on that page along with their info. Some questions below do relate directly to BDSM sessions however.
If you don't see the answers to any questions that you may have after reviewing the site, please drop Michael a line and he'll be happy to answer your questions directly.
Why do you ask for a picture of me?
I request a picture of you as a courtesy. I've shared a great deal about myself with you on this site so that you will have a good idea of who you're choosing to work with. I really appreciate your willingness to share one with me. Your trust in me with your picture begins to build trust between us and that will allow us to go deeper during our time together. I don't need it to be a studio quality portrait, full nude or anything special, just a picture that gives me an idea of who to expect when you arrive. I can read a lot from pictures and having that connection to you helps me to be more fully prepared before your session.
What if I don't have a pic to send or won't send the one I have?
I understand your need for privacy and desire to be discrete but I invite you to really ask yourself why your default setting is to NOT trust rather than trust. I have no one that I need to send these pictures to or anywhere that I want to post them. If I did, this town isn't that big and it would get around and ruin my business. I'm no fool nor do I have a need for childish behavior like secretly posting your pic somewhere. I'm asking you to trust me so that I can begin to trust you. That being said, if you want a session with me and you absolutely won't send me a picture, I am willing to take a working phone number for you in lieu of that. I can't do an energy reading with that, so it will require a phone call from you so that we can chat before booking the session. The final option is that I'm willing to take a reference from another provider. I prefer pics, then phone and referrals in that order.
What do you do with the pics if I don't schedule a session?
I hold them for about a month after you contact me. If you haven't scheduled by then, I delete them. If you contact me after that time, I'll have to ask you to resend your pics.
Why don't you show your cock in any of your pictures?
The main reason you won't see my cock on my site is because the sessions are not about my cock at all. I'm very proud of my cock because nature was kind enough to bless with a nice sized cock but I don't want it to be used as a reason to book a session with me. These sessions are about the desires of those who come to me for work and not about my pleasure. During the session, we'll both be nude so you'll have plenty of opportunity to see, touch and explore my body (or not) but I want you to make the decision to visit me based upon your desires and not on my cock.
Do you work with older/hairy/overweight/impotent guys?
Yes. I work with all bodies and all genders. Most guys who do erotic bodywork (part-time or on the side) are really using it as their sexual outlet. As such they are very selective about who they work with because they want to have an attraction to their clients. I get my sexual needs met outside of sessions because the sessions I offer are about you and having your needs met. I don't need to be attracted to you to work with you.
Do I have to get a prostate massage?
No, you don't have to but I would invite you to examine any fears you have around this. Your asshole is a virtual pleasure center just waiting to be explored. If you have fears or anxiety around that exploration, the session with me is a way for you to move past those issues. Many guys have tried assplay before and unless they really knew what they were doing, it probably hurt. I have a great deal of experience with prostate massage and assplay. If you're anxious about this, we'll talk though it before the session and work together to make the experience pleasurable for you. So before you rule it out, let's talk it through. I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want, but I want you to make your decisions from an informed place, not from past bad experiences. All too often in life, we make our decisions from the past and that's often the place where our deepest wounds are. The present is where your power is.
What kind of toys are available if I want to experience them?
I have a wide variety of toys available and love to use them. Each toy is cleaned and sterilized before you arrive. I have dildos in various sizes from very thin and short all the way up to long and thick. I also have a harness that I can use to strap them on. This frees up my hands and allows for more intense penetration if you desire that. I really enjoy exploring toy play and am very experienced in the pleasures that can be derived from each one I own. I'm sure we can find the right shape and size for you. You are also welcome to bring any toy from your private collection and we'll see if we can find new levels of pleasure for you with it.
As for toys from the BDSM world, I have a lot of those too. I have a wide range of floggers, paddles, electric gizmos, restraints and devices to tease and torment you based upon your desires.
Does this experience mean I'm gay?
No, this experience doesn't make you anything. You choose the labels that you put on yourself or you choose not to be labeled. Labels limit us by their definition of us. To me, being open to all the sources of pleasure that the Universe has to offer us is the ideal state to be in. Who you relate to sexually has to do with your sexual orientation, not how you receive pleasure. Pleasure is an energy and as such has no gender. Pleasure is determined by how you interpret a stimulus, not about the person creating the stimuli. In this work there is either pleasure or not. It has nothing to do with your sexual identity.
Why do I have to not ejaculate for 24 hours before the appointment?
By not ejaculating you begin to build a stronger erotic charge. That charge is what most guys think of as "getting horny". We'll take that charge, increase it and harness it for the session. This helps you to be fully engaged in the process we'll use which I'll explain when we meet. A full ejaculatory orgasm will release that energy and based upon your past habits can cause you to lose the drive for sexual connection.
What if I cum too quickly?
That is one of the issues that the erotic therapy work can help you with. All too often guys are in a habitual place of a quick orgasm because of their masturbation habits. As young men, we do it quickly before anyone comes along who might catch us and as we grow up, unfortunately that becomes a subconscious habit. My bodywork sessions are essentially focused, assisted, erotic masturbation. I will basically be "edging" you through the session. Learning to recognize the early warning signals of an ejaculation can help you clear any premature ejaculation worries and tendencies. That signal is also key to becoming multi-orgasmic. I'll explain more about how this will work before our session begins.
Will I have an ejaculation during the session?
Part of the experience is about helping you to learn to build erotic energy and bring it up into your energy system. For most people, once that happens, they need to be able to release some of that energy because it can be a little frazzling to hold it without an ejaculation. When you have an ejaculation, you open your energy system. When that happens, I'm able to do some deeper Reiki and general energy work to help you relax at the deepest level possible. The deepest relaxation brings the deepest healing.
Do I have to come?
No, it's not a requirement. An orgasm and an ejaculation are two different events. For most guys they always occur together. When we learn to separate them, we can become multi-orgasmic. It takes work and an understanding to do that but it's so worth it. For me, I can experience many orgasms before an ejaculation. I can help you to evolve your pleasure response and become multi-orgasmic as well.
What if I don't get hard?
This work is not dependent upon an erection. Sure it helps to have one for you to achieve an ejaculation but it's not a requirement for an orgasm. An orgasm can be achieved by prostate stimulation alone. The techniques I use are designed to help raise erotic energy in you and that typically causes an erection. Your pleasure is not dependent upon your erection. This work also helps those with Erectile Dysfunction (ED) which often times is just an energy block that needs to be cleared unless it's a side effect of medication.
Do I need to do an enema/douche beforehand?
Ultimately this will depend upon what type of session you are coming to me for. If you are experienced with proper douching techniques and are comfortable with it, by all means do it so that you feel comfortable during our session if assplay is on the menu. If you are not familiar or comfortable with douching, I am happy to include personal coaching assistance with you in the studio as part of your session. There is a lot of random information on the web on how to do it but the information I have to share is in the link at the end of this response. This type of experience is great for helping to release the shame most of us hold around out bowel movements.
I encourage you to douche beforehand but again it's not a requirement. Typically taking a bowel movement before or after you arrive for the session is sufficient for our work. However the best way to be able to relax and feel confident that you're as clean as you would like is to do a shallow enema (or douche). I have an inline hose on the toilet in the space. I have rubber nozzles that you can purchase for $15 or bring your own and attach to it. I am happy to keep it at my studio for you if you'd like or you can take it with you. Details on the products and info for douching can be found HERE.
Is this a "Rub and Tug"?
Many guys have gone to erotic bodywork providers in the past and either gotten a few minutes of a back rub and then a quick handjob and shuffled out the door or they've gotten a regular massage and then a quick handjob at the end. That's not what this session is about. You get full full-body sensual bodywork (front and back) with erotic stimulation throughout. This experience is about more than just your orgasm, it's about finding pleasure in all parts of your body. My sessions are all complete and unrushed. I book my appointments with enough time in between to ensure that you get the full amount of time listed (usually slightly more) on each of the sessions.
I've never let a guy touch me erotically before; what if I'm too nervous?
I've worked with many guys in this situation and have had no problems so far. Ultimately this is about your pleasure and allowing your body to be stimulated. Your pleasure is not dependent upon the gender of the person doing the stimulating. We'll spend some time chatting before your session begins. In that discussion, I'll find out a bit more about you and will explain everything that will happen during the session before we begin. I am a very calm, grounded, easy-going and gentle person and many have found that just by being in my presence, they tend to calm down very quickly. If we were engaging in some sort of romantic connection then my gender would be more of an issue for you. Since this is about you and your pleasure, my gender is not a factor, only your thoughts are. Change your thoughts and you'll change your life.
Can I touch you during the erotic bodywork sessions?
Yes, you are welcome to touch me but that's not the focus of those sessions. The experience is about you and your pleasure. If you choose to touch me you'll find that I won't stop the flow of the session to encourage that, but rather I'll just continue working. This has nothing to do with you and so please don't be offended. When you begin touching me, your focus shifts to me and away from you. Many guys say that bringing pleasure to their partner is how they get pleasure. I get that because that is the base of my work, but this experience is about you allowing yourself to just absorb layer upon layer of pleasure without sending that energy back to me.
Yes, I know that can be a challenge but that's what this work is about. My work is about you focusing fully on your pleasure not mine. (That's why you pay me.) You will have plenty of opportunities to give all the pleasure you want to others outside of this experience. Hopefully a session with me will help you be even better at that touch when you engage in a sexual situation. Many guys have reported that it has been their experience and I'm always happy to hear that. When we are fully in touch with our bodies and what brings them pleasure, we are better able to guide future partners to the actions that please us most. Why should we be silent and hope that they can find our hidden pleasure spots? With knowledge of our body we can guide our partners to our known pleasure spots and then encourage them to search for more that we've yet to discover.
What's in this for you?
I really enjoy working with guys and I have a lot of experience both professionally and privately with that. I have a lot of knowledge about the male body that I enjoy passing along. This work is about helping guys get in touch with their body, not mine. I enjoy seeing guys reach new levels of excitement, learn to be multi-orgasmic, clear ED issues, release old fears around male/male contact, learn things about their bodies and even finding new ways of masturbating. I approach these sessions from a professional standpoint. I'm here to help you find pleasure for yourself not to try to get you to bring me pleasure. I choose to do this work because I love it and because I have a gift for it.
Is this your full time job?
Yes. I've reached a place where I can devote myself to it full time. I've been in full-time practice since November of 2005. I love this work and am honored to be able to sustain myself with it. I have a personal studio where I'll be working on you. I don't live there so you won't be getting a session in my bedroom or the middle of my living room. There are photos of my studio on the GALLERY page.
Do you live where I'll be going? Is it safe? Is the neighborhood safe?
My studio is located in a commercial, historic, industrial building in the SoDo neighborhood. I only work in the space. The area is very quiet industrial district so the only residents in the area are those that live in the building where my studio is. During the day, you'll see lots of people going to the various businesses in the complex. There is a private entrance to my studio and no indication on the outside of what the space is. I've always felt safe even when I leave at 11pm and have no reports of problems from any clients.
Are you a cop?
No. With all the buzz about police stings and erotic workers, this is an understandable fear that many guys have. Primarily those stings are targeted toward female workers and allegedly for their safety. I can assure you that the police do not go to the trouble to make a website as thorough as mine, nor take the time to respond to emails or advertise the way I do. As you can see from my "testimonials" page, my clients know me and trust me. If you doubt me at all, please select any testimonial that you'd like from the testimonial page and I can get you in touch via email with its author to confirm what it says and what I'm saying here. Also you are welcome to follow me on Twitter @MichaelDeCrow to see my daily shenanigans.
Will I pass another client on my way in or out?
No. I schedule sessions with an hour gap in between to avoid this overlap of appointments. This is also why I ask you not to show up early for your appointment.
Do you cum during the session?
Typically I do not cum during a session. I am multi-orgasmic. This means that I can have many dry orgasms without ejaculating and I do that many times throughout a day. Like most guys who are past their 20s, once I ejaculate I'm ready for a break. If I cum, that makes it challenging for me to do this work for the rest of the day. If you do choose to touch me, all I ask that you please not touch me with the intent to try and make me cum. Your pleasure is not dependent upon my pleasure in this setting. This does not mean that I won't cum because I'm human and too much stimulation can put me over the top but it is to say that I would prefer not to cum.
Can you teach me to be multi-orgasmic?
I can teach you the techniques involved but your success depends upon you. Orgasm and ejaculation are not the same thing. Ejaculation is simply one aspect of an orgasm. The orgasm is the actual pleasurable sensations caused by muscle contractions. Ejaculation is simply the release of semen from the body during these contractions. Ejaculation is not necessary for an orgasm. I am happy to work with you on learning to become multi-orgasmic. The Aneros is a wonderful device for assisting you in that process as well. Men can be multi-orgasmic just like women can ejaculate. We all carry both feminine and masculine energies (yin/yang, negative/positive, descending/ascending, passive/aggressive) and the orgasms associated with these energies are quite different and possible for both genders. "The Multi-orgasmic Male" is a great book for you to reference on this technique.
Can I take a shower afterwards?
You certainly can...or we can take one together during or after your session. I love playing in the shower. A bath is also an option. I'm happy to bathe you because I find that every erotic.
What about disease?
Any sexual/sensual encounter carries with it a certain risk of disease. This one is no different. However, I get tested for the whole battery of STDs quarterly just as a precautionary action and as part of the PrEP process to monitor any effects from it. I value my health and want to ensure that I'm not passing anything along to my clients. I make every effort possible to ensure that you are safe. We can live life from a place of fear where we never have any intimate contact or we can weigh our risks, take the necessary precautions and explore our sexuality. This, as with all intimate contact, is about trust. The experiences that are typically a part of my sessions carry a very low risk for you.
I am currently taking PrEP to protect against HIV. I am taking a low-dose of Doxycyclin as part of a study to prevent STI's. I also take a low-dose of acyclovir to protect against herpes. As you can see, I take several preventatives so that I can minimize my risk of contacting these diseases. This helps me feel confident that I will therefore NOT be passing anything along. Understandably however, I can't put a guarantee on it that I'll never have one of these diseases but I'm certainly doing my best to prevent them.
Do you work with women, trans-men, trans-women or male/female couples?
The majority of my intimate contact has been with men. Since I am a male, the past experiences and knowledge of my body are what make me so good at this work. I know firsthand what the things I do to the male body feel like. I have been fortunate enough to have a few women in the past that have helped me to understand the workings of the female body better including direct training as part of the Sacred Intimate training I went through. I am happy to work with people of any gender.
This experience is about helping people learn about their bodies and their pleasure response. I feel comfortable doing this because of my knowledge and training. However if you are a female bodied individual and are seeking work focused around the female orgasm, I prefer to leave that to those who know the female body best. I know cis-females doing this type of work and am happy to give you referrals to them if you would like. Email me for info.
In the last few years I've been honored enough to get to work with several trans-men. The work has been transformative for me as well as them. I've learned ways to access pleasure for them without direct cock-stimulation. I've been able to hold them in a space of acceptance and respect to help them work on their desires. These sessions have primarily been BDSM-based and are some of the more powerful sessions I've had.
Will the BDSM experiences leave marks on my skin?
It is my intention to not leave any mark that will last longer than 10 – 15 minutes. Sometimes even the most gentle impact play can leave a red place but I do my best to give your skin time to “leather up” as part of the process and that is what prevents marking. Some bodies however are just prone to marking. If you know this, and marks are a problem for you, then this work is probably not the best for you unless your focus is on spanking and no one will be seeing your bare ass. The domination work and dungeon fantasy play however can be accomplished without impact play and thus no marking. Accidents do happen but know that I strive to leave ZERO traces of our time together.
Do you do slave training, humiliation domination, torture scenes, or leather-man fantasy play?
I do a version of these common BDSM themed experiences. I do training for submissives but the training is usually very focused on some aspect of BDSM. I do not do formal leather-guard style training but know men who do if you need a referral. I do work with humiliation but in the form of having you do humiliating tasks. I do not do direct humiliation, insult, belittlement type of work. I can create a torture scene for you but they do not involve blood play or body modification. I'm happy to include intense activities in your session which can feel like torture however.
As for the leather-man scene, I have some small amount of leather that I can wear but I am definitely not a geared up leather daddy. I'm more of a jeans and t-shirt sporty Daddy. I can help you explore the light side of BDSM but any experiences that I do not offer are best handled by someone whose focus is in that area. If you need that type of experience, I’m happy to refer you to other BDSM pros that I know but I’m not comfortable offering that type work professionally. My work is about getting you connected with your body and it's sensations.
I still have more questions, how do I get them answered?
Drop me a line with any questions that you have. I am always happy to answer questions for you to help you feel more comfortable with the experience. Please email me at address below. I'll get back with you as quickly as I can.