Some of our deepest wounds are sexual. Often these wounds are so deep or so old that we don't even know they exist. They shape our lives, control our emotions and cloud our judgment. People often think that wounds only come from bad experiences. The experience is simply the experience; neither good nor bad. The experience could be a hurtful statement from an adult figure when we're young, fear of a vengeful unloving God as taught by a religion or a child's misunderstanding of an ordinary experience. The wound is what we take away from the experience. The wound could be as simple as a belief that "sex is bad", your sexual behavior is "wrong" or that masturbation is "sinful". Some wounds are, of course, from obvious traumatic emotional experiences. Sexual wounds require sexual healing. This is what I'm offering ... sexual healing in a safe environment.
As I do this work, I'm healing some of my deepest wounds in the process. It's been said that our earliest wounds determine our life's work. This is certainly the case for me. I was born in a small, racist town in Alabama and raised in the Baptist church. I spent much of my childhood praying for my desire to masturbate to cease because the church told me it was wrong. In later years when I recognized my attraction to men, the church was there again to tell me I was going to hell because God couldn't love me for that.
As an adult who has expanded his spiritual views and is following a spiritual path, I have come to recognize that those teachings, while well intended, were very harmful to my psyche. God (the Universe, Spirit, Allah, Buddha, Love, Light, Creator, Goddess ... whatever name you call that energy field by) is simply an energy and not an old gray haired man sitting in the clouds and passing judgment. The energy is unconditional Love. In short, God IS Love. All religions agree on this. How then can anything but love be associated with that entity? It is my desire to help those I work with learn to love everything about themselves and to allow pleasure (the feeling of Love entering the body) to come to them in many forms ... unconditionally.
In March of 1999, I took a trip to India with a friend to see one of India's most revered Avatars, Sri Sathya Sai Baba. By simply being in his presence, he activated something within me that had long been dormant. When he looked at me, I believe he called forth my inner healer and forever changed my life. I can still recall that moment clearly, many years later. Shortly after returning, I left my job and a 16-year career in data processing to travel the world and "find myself."
In early 2000, I began a five-month travel experience through New Zealand, Australia, Germany and England. While I was in Australia I took a course called "The Melchizedek Method". This training was about learning to activate my Lightbody and using the "Hologram of Love Merkaba". According to "The Keys of Enoch", the Merkaba is an inter-dimensional counter-clockwise rotational vehicle of Light, Spirit and Body. While that sounds pretty out there, the basis of the training is activating the Merkaba for healing work based upon it being composed of unconditional love. In essence, it creates a bubble around me where healing can occur at all levels for all those in that field.
After completing my travels, in January of 2001 I decided to deepen my yoga practice and become an Integral Yoga instructor. The instructor training was a month long intensive held at a remote retreat in the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico. During this training, I injured my back. One of the other students gave me a Reiki treatment and I was actually able to feel the energy flowing into me. This was unusual for me since I was skeptical about energy work at the time. I knew from that moment that I had to learn how to channel this energy as well.
Shortly after returning from the Yoga training, I received my Level I attunement from a Seattle Reiki Master, Barbara McDaniel. This allowed so many amazing experiences to enter my life and confirmed for me that I was indeed on the right path. I knew almost immediately that I was destined to become a Reiki Master because it would allow me to bring two passions in my life together...healing and teaching. A year later I received my Level II attunement from Barbara. In October of 2004, I reached my goal and was attuned to the Master Level by a wonderful woman from Oregon named Mary Grace. In August of 2007, I took the next step on my Reiki path and was attuned as a Karuna Reiki Master by William Lee Rand.
Also as a result of the Yoga training, I was guided to begin a course of study with the Self-Realization Fellowship founded by Paramahansa Yogananda. The teachings are an ancient yogic system known as Kriya Yoga. This three and a half year course teaches meditation techniques and a system for right living. This course has deepened my understanding of life, living and the afterlife.
In 2002 I began working as a personal assistant and office manager to a Seattle based chiropractor specializing in energy medicine. By being both a patient and a student of this man, I learned a great deal about how the body works both physically and energetically. Through my work with him, I was able to clear a food allergy that I had to corn and wheat. I learned that allergic reactions are just symptoms of deeper issues and not permanent conditions that we must endure forever. Just like our bodies can manifest these problems (any dis-ease), they can also release the cause and move back into a state of wholeness, peace and balance…but it takes work and time. These issues don’t just start over-night and they can’t be “cured” in a day.
In July of 2003, I began a Vision Quest under the guidance of a local Ojibwa Shaman called SilverWolf. A Vision Quest is a Shamanic initiation ceremony. While the actual ceremony lasted only one week, the Vision continues to unfold for four years afterwards. In this ceremony I learned that I sit upon many paths and that I am supposed to bring parts from each path together to develop the healing work that I incarnated to do. The work I'm currently doing is a manifestation of the teachings from all the paths.
The Native Americans teach that we all carry "medicine". When we follow these teachings and learn about our medicines, we can then use them to heal ourselves and others. These medicines are shared when we do healing work together. If I carry medicine that your spirit needs, when we spend time with each other, you can be healed by that medicine...and I by yours. It's like taking aspirin. It stops the headache but you don't become aspirin.
In October 2005 I began my erotic bodywork practice out of the small second bedroom of my apartment. After trying to find an erotic therapist that met my needs and desires and being constantly disappointed, I began to notice that my experience wasn’t unique. In scanning through personal ads on Craigslist I noticed a large number of “straight identified” guys who were seeking safe, erotic touch from another man. I saw ads for guys wanting to explore assplay from someone who knew how to help them. I knew there was a need that wasn’t being met and in taking a long hard look at myself and my skill set, I felt that it might be void I could fill and so I put an ad up myself.
Once I realized that there was enough interest in my work for me to build a practice on, I threw myself into it fully. I took my existing social skills, service experience, sexual skills, bodywork and energy training and then found a space to work in. I certainly had no idea how much it was going to change my life. Over the years I’ve moved to bigger and better spaces because my needs have grown along with my practice. I’ve also been adding new areas of study and additional energy techniques to my work to be able to accommodate the needs of my clients as well as to make me a better practitioner. I’m always looking for new ways to grow personally and professionally while still staying true to my desire to be of service to those I work with.
In March of 2006, I began studying "left-handed" Tantra with Jay Craver. This branch of Tantra teaches us that "everything is an experiment". To heal some of our deepest wounds, we must observe everything that happens within the context of our experiment. This experiment could be as broad as one's life but in the case of my work, it is confined to a single session. Another Tantric principle is that "Deep pleasure brings deep healing." That is a principle which I have been living my whole life and is the base of the work I do in each session.
In 2009 I began an energy training class taught by Lynda Caesara called “The Fundamentals of Energy”. This was an amazing class taught by an amazing woman. She began teaching this course because she had noticed how poorly people in general were managing their energetic manners and felt called to share her knowledge. In the physical realm, we give people their personal space by managing our physical bodies so that we’re not in their space. We have to do the same thing in the energy realm so that we aren’t unconsciously in the energy field of others and so that others aren’t manipulating our energy field. Having been through this training, I can now see how most of us violate the energy field of others as a way to get attention or how we unconsciously take on others energy in an attempt to help them.
During the 3 years that I was enrolled in this course, I learned so much about being fully embodied in the physical realm. The basis of those teachings are shared on my blog (with Lynda’s permission). It’s a multistep process that Lynda called “The Basics”. Each step is simple to read and understand but learning to hold them constantly as we engage life is where the work is. The training I received in the overall course has really helped me with my work in ways that I could never have imagined before starting the course.
While in the class, I was introduced to ‘The Deer Tribe Metis Medicine Society’ () based out of Arizona. They are a shamanic based group that includes advanced energy awareness and usage training to non-Native Americans. I was introduced to the group due to a ceremony they were holding in the Seattle area. The ceremony is known as “Shamanic Dearmoring”. () I completed it in February of 2011. It turned out to be one of the most powerful and profound experiences that I had ever done and still is. I highly recommend it to anyone on a spiritual path who is willing to do the internal work necessary to evolve and grow personally.
The premise behind the ceremony is that from the time we are born, we begin creating energetic armor around our bodies to protect ourselves before we are able to physically defend ourselves. Unfortunately this armor inhibits or blocks the free flowing movement of our energy and our erotic energy in particular. The two week ceremony is the process of breaking up that armor, removing it from our energy field and getting the energy flowing again. It was intense, powerful, challenging and deeply healing.
That ceremony led me to begin exploring the Deer Tribe teachings more deeply. I enrolled in a small study group held in the Seattle area by one of their local teachers who comes up from Portland. Her name is Mateo Swan and I spent just over three years studying under her. I learned more about what the Deer Tribe refers to as “the human luminosity field”. Our luminosity encompasses the auric field as well as the energetic components within that field. Reading all of that information is a process they call “gleaning” and allows the person doing the gleaning to access information on the person that the person isn’t aware of consciously. I traveled to Phoenix in September of 2011 to learn to read the luminosity. It was a two week class that they call “Aura Perception and Analysis”. It was taught by the leader of the Deer Tribe, Harley “SwiftDeer” Reagan. When he sits in his power, he is known as Thunder Strikes. It was a blessing to get to spend that amount of time with him as he passed in 2014.
The process of gleaning gives data about the person rather than personal information. For example by gleaning you I could find out what energy structure your system uses, how much armor you have on your physical body, where your assemblage point is and a whole host of other such details. It is not about mind-reading however or getting into your personal Akashic records. It’s more akin to how you might look at someone and see that “they look like they’re about 35 years old, 5 foot 8, 150 pounds, Caucasian descent, etc” but it’s done on the energy field and not the physical body. You might think of it as me getting data points on where you are in this moment without getting into how or why you arrived at those points. I use the technique to connect with each client energetically to allow my unconscious intuition to be guided by that connection so that my system can help guide or be guided by your system.
BDSM WORK BEGINS
In 2010 some of my regular clients who trusted me began to ask me for more non-massage type offerings. The first time a client asked me if I would flog him my response was “Let me go learn how to do it and I’ll be happy to.” That request sent me on a journey of exploration that has changed my life and the lives of many of my clients. When I went to my mentor, Jay Craver, and asked him to flog me and teach me about it, little did I know what path it would put me on. I absolutely loved the sensations of it and knew that I had tapped into something amazing.
From there, I sought out more training for more things from a wide range of people. I attended a week long BDSM based camp out hosted by The Center for Sex Positive Culture. The event is called “Paradise Unbound”. I’ve been three times since and have loved it more each time. I’ve met some amazing teachers and learned so much about the edgier world of kink and BDSM. I’ve also attended countless small one-off classes held at the CSPC and learned a great deal there. For three years I attended an event held in Portland called “Kinkfest.” At both Kinkfest and Paradise, there were multiple days of presenters doing 60 or 90 minute classes on every imaginable topic. The evenings at the events are spent in the playspace practicing what you learned and having fun. I’ve learned so much about this world from presenters and by having more skilled practitioners work me over.
After a year of learning, receiving sessions and slowly beginning to feel comfortable offering these services, I added another side to my professional practice. I began offering BDSM/kink/Domination sessions.
Offering BDSM services and experiences has been such a joy for me and it gives me a change of pace from my bodywork practice. I love and adore both the softer bodywork sessions and the creative BDSM sessions. I especially love those that are a mixing of both. Sometimes it’s as simple as someone wanting to be blindfolded and restrained to the table while being rubbed or it’s an intense BDSM impact play session that ends with a cool down period of bodywork or soft erotic touch. Please be sure to read about my BDSM philosophy for more info on how I approach these experiences.
In February of 2013 I took a class called “Integrated Thai table massage” from Eric Spivack at . This class was, as the name implies, learning to do Thai massage on a massage table as opposed to a floor mat which is typically used in Thai massage. The class taught me some Thai techniques that I can easily integrate into the bodywork I do on the table. The thing with Thai massage in general is that it isn’t very erotic. In fact, it is typically done with clothes on for everyone. While that can be very functional, it isn’t the zone I focus my work on so I’ve had to adapt some of the techniques and put my own sexy spin on it for my clients.
In September of 2015 I took a second class from Eric called “Acupressure points for bodyworkers”. This class was about using acupressure points around the body to achieve desired results. Our bodies have hundreds of these points which lie on the energy meridians which run through our bodies. Meridians are simply energetic pathways which connect organs, joints and energy centers throughout the body. The acupressure points are the places where these pathways terminate or return. It’s another subtle tool that I have under my belt that I’m still learning to work with.
In addition to the points I learned in this class, there are a series of acupressure points that I learned during the Shamanic Dearmoring ceremony for getting erotic energy moving. I will sometimes use these acupressure points during a session when I discover blockages. In essence, stimulating these acupressure points will help get the energy along that meridian moving again to nourish the organs and energy system like it would if your body where operating at peak condition without any blockages or wounds. It’s certainly not a permanent fix but it does get things flowing again to allow the body to heal itself. Repeating this process along with other work will eventually allow the body to heal that issue (emotional trauma, physical injury, spiritual wounding, mental blocks).
GOING DEEPER WITH TANTRA
In June of 2013 I began a year-long Tantric based training program with 4 friends/mentors/fellow Sacred Intimates in the Seattle area. One of the facilitators was Jay Craver who I mentioned above as one of my original mentors. The program was called “Sacred Intimacy through a Tantric lens”. We met five times for 5 days at a time throughout the year. The purpose of the training was to share with us some tools, techniques and processes for doing Sacred Intimate (erotic therapy) work by using the principles of Tantra as the base for the work. Not only did we get to practice being the practitioner with the other students but we also filled the role of client where we were tasked with working on our own issues. It was a very powerful experience and I met some amazing practitioners from around the country. I’ve maintained contact with them as a way of creating a network of practitioners. I have clients from around the globe who have traveled to Seattle for their work and found me while in Seattle so now I can refer them to someone in their area (hopefully) who can help facilitate their work in their home area. If you happen to know of a Sacred Intimate in your area that you have worked with and trust, I’d love to hear about this person for my reference. Apparently we’re harder to find that I would think so I’m grateful to you for any referral that you might have.
MY FIRST COMMERCIAL SPACE
In October of 2014 I moved my practice into my first commercial space. It was such a frightening yet exciting thing for me to do. For the first 9 years of my practice, I had rented apartments and homes and never really been able to do anything but paint and put up shelves. With the commercial space, I’m able to change it into anything that I want and any way that I want. Creating it has been a labor of love. My goal is to be able to create the ideal work space for both sides of my practice and make it a space that I can rent out to others (practitioners and individuals) for their private use. My intention with the space is to make it “edgier than a massage studio but softer than a dungeon”. I named the studio “The Crow’s Nest Escape” because the physical structure is reminiscent of a large nest sitting on top of a building and “crow” is an ally of mine in the Shamanic realms. I also see the space as a place to escape the reality of everyday life and slip into another realm of fun.
THE IMPACT OF MY WORK ON ME
Doing this work has really changed me over the years. It has helped me to look at the fears, judgments and shame that I had been holding onto about my own sexuality and spirituality. I know that I am a much better person because of the work and I’m certain that translates into me being a better practitioner…and that starts the cycle all over again. I’m often humbled by the transformations that I see in those I work with and the stories I hear. I know that I’m not “fixing” anyone but I am opening and holding space to allow healing to occur and working with each client to help them move into that space so that they can do the healing themselves. It is an amazing and subtle process and I am honored to be able to be a part of it. This work fulfills, excites and delights me because it is so dynamic and fills such a need to help others on a personal level. I’m thrilled to be able to offer a safe space for people to come to learn, explore and grow by simply learning the art of receiving.
All my life I've been clairsentient but never understood it until I began doing this work. This gift means that I can psychically sense what is needed and use my intuition to guide me in bringing that forth. I rely on that guidance, assistance from my spirit guides and from the guides that surround my clients to create each session specifically for each client. I also rely on my intuition to help me determine who I should and should not work with.
Love will always show us the way.
Physically, I'm a 5'-9", 155 pound, Caucasian, with blue eyes and shaved-off dishwater blonde hair. I have a slender build, soft skin and a very sensuous touch. I enjoy hiking and the outdoors so I'm healthy and fit. I am HIV Negative. I am a gentle, peace-loving, non-violent soul who has recognized his calling in life and is following that path.
I am experienced in finding and filling the needs of those I work with. My spiritual practices of Reiki, Tantra, Shamanism and Yoga have given me the base for the work I do. My training in energy use, bodywork and BDSM have given me some of the tools that I use. My innate sense of touch, intuitive guidance and sexual experience empower me with an ability to use the power of touch and the Reiki energy to bring forth transformational experiences in those I work with.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. May the Universe shower you with joy and protect you from harm.